


big daddy d and me

by oiseaui



Category: Hamilton - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 19:31:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19157512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oiseaui/pseuds/oiseaui
Summary: ;)))





	big daddy d and me

**Author's Note:**

> hahahahahshshshdhd

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, an what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have about two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them. They're quite touchy about anything like that, especially my father. They're nice and all--I'm not saying that--but they're also touchy as hell. Besides, I'm not going to tell you my whole

Michael jackson hehe this is just the first chapter of catcher in the rye.

The real story begins here:

It was 1523 and I was like 20 years old. I saw Alexander Hamilton walking down the dirty mud road to my shack of a house. Really my house looked like shrek’s outhouse. But anyway alex walked up to me while I was doing my womanly house work, sewing and sweeping all the dirt and bugs off of my dirt porch. Alex came up to me and said “excuse me i do believe this is the house number I was given last night.” And then he handed me a piece of parchment with the inscriptions of what vaguely looked like ‘69’ and then I looked up at the door of my house where the big numbers ‘69’ were carved. I let out a squeal and jumped with joy. “Yippee you made it!!!!” I sang. “Hahahaha lol of course I did! For I never give up an invitation to a beautiful woman who I met in the local saloon’s house! :)” of course it was 1534 so our version of saloons were a bunch of people in a big ditch on the side of the dirt road out of town getting absolutely shitfaced on straight up potato juice. It was quite the lovely time. Anyway I pulled big daddy D (d is short for alexanDer) into my dirty gremlin Rat house and sat him down on a chair. “Hahaha” he said. “We shall have a great time tonight.” Then he winked just like 😉 and started taking off his clothes. I sat down in a chair probably 5 feet away from him and then I followed suit and took off my first 5 layers of clothes. I left on the last 2 layers because a woman should never expose herself to anyone except god. then alexanDer started rubbing his face and biting his lip and winking like a fucjboy and said “haha babygirl isn’t this great” and then he slapped his own ass. I shivered. The one hole in my wall I used for a window was letting all the cold air in. “Hold on my dearest” I said and then got up and shoved my makeshift hole plug of dead rat carcasses into the window. I sat back down and blushed. alrxander reached over and held my hand. I nearly fainted!! “My oh my!!!!” I yelped. “So forward!” He retreated and immediately started putting his clothes back on. He was in a sweat. “I do believe that was quite the time we had” he said, “but I really must get going. I have to go help fight in the civil war now.” He finished getting dressed and then grabbed his ak47 and walked out of the door. I got up and followed him. “Mister Hamilton wait!!!” I ran after him and grabbed him by the arm. I turned him around and gave him a big fat kiss on the cheek. “You bastard!!! You touched my hand! I’m pregnant with yuor babay now!!!! You have to be my husband now!!!” Hamilton looked at me like an anime character would if they saw a villain coming after them and they knew they were about to die. “I’m... I’m sorry,,....” he looked away after he said this. Then I heard someone from the bushes behind me say “omae wo mo shinderu” and then I got shot in the back and I fell over. That’s when I popped a glock and shot that motherfucker in the head. It was that bastard George Bush. Hamilton looked over at me again and said “oh my god that’s george Bush. You just shot the president of the United States.” Then I got up and took the headpiece from bu$h’s head and heard some man say “mister president are we going to continue the systematic oppression of minorities in the United States?” And then I said “gay rights baby” and smashed the headpiece on the ground. Then the cia came out and arrested me. I was taken to gay baby jail and I’ve been there ever since. And that’s how I became an enemy of the state.


End file.
